This morning, mom wasn't doing so well (as if anything that's happening right now could be considered "well"). But while Jen and I waited for the staff to finish her morning bath, one of the residents came up in her walker to talk with us.
"How is Loretta doing?" she asked.
"Not well" I answered.
Then she said, "You know, I really miss your mother. We would sit together during dinner or events and talk. It was really nice - Most everyone else on this floor is either deaf or in la la land."
Then she turned and walked away.
Jen and I looked at each other and chuckled at the bit of comedy that had been tossed our way. I also smiled because I knew my mom touched lives wherever she went. She sometimes wondered why she was left on this Earth for so long after dad died in 1985. Now we know why - her job on here on Earth wasn't done yet.
I hope her job is done soon. Mom didn't recognize me or Jen when we went into her room today. It might be hard to explain but when I look into her eyes, I don't see her anymore. It's almost like she is already gone - only the body remains holding on to some kind of life. Perhaps this is the "purgatory" that I heard some much about in Catholic school - not heaven, not hell, but a state in between before going to one direction or the other. I don't know - maybe it's just my mind trying to make sense out of something that I personally see as nonsensical...
On top of this, we come home to find a mess of water in the basement. It seams one of our drain pipes has fractured. As Jen and I were heading to the hardware store for some kind of temporary solution until we can scrape up the cash for a professional repair, I just had to say, "I can handle this - God never gives you more than you can handle, right?"
As weird as this sounds, she may be waiting for you and/or Jen to tell her it's OK to go. Sit down, take her hand and tell her you will be OK, if she needs to leave, it's OK to do so. Jen needs to reassure her that you'll be taken care of. Sometimes they just need to know they have permission. Hospice nurses usually encourage this sort of thing :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the water issues and having to make temporary repairs. We've got a leaky outside faucet, and I'm grateful it's summer because I just use the leaking water to water the grass, chickens, pond, anything that's thirsty. Sure hope it works itself out soon for ya.
ReplyDeleteAnd prayers said for your Mom, Jim, that she doesn't suffer or feel pain much longer. Prayers for you and your family, too.
~Lisa